Choosing to look after others and make them happy sounds like a noble thing to do but doing it at your own expense isn’t being kind to yourself. You must sometimes choose yourself. You must look after yourself and do what is best for you.
You can’t pour from an empty cup. I have had to crash so many times to really understand this. For the longest of time and even now I have failed myself in so many ways and neglected myself in taking care of others and I am slowly starting to realize that I can’t keep saying I love myself and not act like it…. you know!
You might have difficulty choosing yourself because it appears selfish or uncaring. You can, however, prioritize yourself while also considering the needs of others. We’re not suggesting that you never consider or attend to the needs of others. Adult relationships should be a give and take. We sometimes go without or postpone our own needs to care for others, which is understandable.
But if we do this too much, we end up exhausted, sick, resentful, and unfulfilled.
Sometimes our needs must come first, because they are just as important as everyone else’s.
For so long we’ve been encouraged to keep going until we couldn’t anymore. We all cope, we all find a way until one day, in one form or another, we all just need a second. Burnout does not happen overnight; in fact, the busier we become, the more we need time to ourselves. To recharge, to think, to find peace. It takes consistent effort and a mindset shift. And it doesn’t have to be a time-consuming or difficult task.
You are the only one who can decide when it is time to start choosing yourself; if you will be healthier and happier when you accept and prioritize your needs and feelings. Take the first step if you’re ready and if you aren’t ready yet, know that you can begin choosing yourself at any time.
Written by: Chareen Kauazunda