I cannot tell you how many things that have been said to me either as a joke that hurt my feelings that I still carry with me… from being a child to an adult today… Hear me out, I know that there is always some truth behind a joke and perhaps that is why we hold on to things that we have been told that hurt us….
Playful jokes can be valuable to your relationship with your child, but when they turn into teasing they can have long term harmful effects on the child self-esteem, confidence and trust.
Research shows that playful teasing between parents and their children can be a way to strengthen relationships, bring up difficult topics, and just have fun—but parents need to recognize when teasing crosses the line and becomes hurtful.
As parents we should know where to draw line as our words carry so much weight.
Here are a few things to be mindful of, to never say to your children:
Weight
Don’t tease kids about their weight in any capacity. This can lead to weight struggles and body image issues. Always speak positively about your child’s weight. Get in the practice of speaking positive affirmations over them to encourage body positivity like, “I accept my body as it is today”, “I define my own beauty standard”, and “My body is beautiful, just as it is”.
Friendships
Don’t tease about opposite sex friendships, boys and girls can and should be friends, don’t try and insinuate that they are more than friends. This can make them feel self-conscious and miss out on friendships.
Academics
A disappointing grade can trigger emotions in both the parent and the child, but teasing should only be used for motivation, as a gentle reminder to study or do homework, and should not be focused on the ability because that could make the situation worse…. Being upset because you wanted your child to get an A, but they got a C, is normal.
Appearance
Don’t tease your kids about how they look. Eyes, teeth, smile, height. As they grow, they change so it better to not make negative comments about their changing body.
Gentle Reminder:
“Parents have to remember that teasing always has to have an element of humor—if it’s not funny, it’s not a tease.”
Love
Shai_Quan xx