Chazz’s Perspective On Spending Time With Your Significant Other

Are guys’/girls’ nights good for your relationship? Do you trust your person when they’re out with their friends? What’s a healthy amount of time to spend with the person you’re dating? We all know those people who seem to dive headfirst into a new relationship, spending 24/7 with a new partner, but this sometimes comes at the expense of their other relationships.

Meanwhile, other people feel like they have to fight their way on to their new partner’s schedule. So here’s another question; how much time is your partner allowed to be with their friends?

How do you find the balance?

Come here.. a little closer.. TRUST THEM. Please. Stop being a smothering, paranoid human being. Pardon me but it’s the truth. You have to trust them because you have no choice. You have to trust that they’re just enjoying the company of their loved ones (friends, family, etc.) drinking beer, talking smack and telling dirty jokes. Not your flavor? Well, the alternative is to allow your insecurity to choke the life out of your relationship. You honestly should be overjoyed that your partner has a social life and isn’t attached to you like a leech.

I find that many of my fellow gender-mates fall victim to feelings of extreme clinginess (including myself). Girl, schedule some girls’ nights out. Go do what chicks do together. Whatever that is. Pillow fights? I don’t know. Lol. Just kidding. But seriously, there’s so much you can do with your time outside of your relationship.

But here’s a little sympathy: I can foresee a scenario where your partner starts hanging out with friends more than you. This would be problematic behavior. Relationships need trust, but they also need attention. As I’ve mentioned before, confrontations always backfire. 9 time out of 10, a partner who is confronted & cornered will always take issue with the tactic and totally ignore what might have precipitated the confrontation. So instead of nagging or blowing up at them, take them out on a date. Over a drink (or four), ask them if they feels like the two of you are spending enough time together. For the love of God please don’t accuse them of anything. See what they thinks. Outside of their words, analyze their body language & take it from there.

Hopefully this will spur a healthy constructive conversation, you’ve got this.